Ramadan's here. Tomorrow morning will be the very first day of fasting (preparing myself to get use to waking up at 3 in the morning for one whole month *sigh). And tonight at 10.30-ish PM I can already hear petasan blasting every 5 minutes..
It's suppose to be a joyful and holy month, then how come I feel lonely? Aah, yes.. Because this also been a month about family. It's always been. About togetherness. That when we're getting older somehow we managed to get away from. And this time of year I always feel the most vulnerable. I miss my mom, my sister and her family. I miss being awoke at 3 (or 4) in the morning, helped my mom getting ready for sahur (and of course my dad's being impossible and always asks for telor dadar), and we'll ate together, the five of us and tell stories about..everything. We'll laughed about kak Ata's story, usually around the MTV Sky or Idol..(obviously,duh), we'll awed (or sometimes yawned) at my Dad's story, always about either The Beatles or John Lennon, Architecture, Music or Sufism. We'll gasped at Mama's juicy gossips, around my BIG family-although I remember thinking, I didn't know who it was (my family's THAT big. Or it's just me?). We'll listen to the little baby in the house, Aya, about being young and.. (not so restless for her case), well, she just ate. A lot. *peace Ay!. And me? I didn't really talk much, I think. i don't know, I don't really remember. What I remember now was that warm and fuzzy feeling I had.
In the end, I am truly grateful I've had experience THE 'Togetherness' with my family.
This will be a quieter Ramadhan for just the three of us.
I miss you Mama, miss you kak Ata (+Kendra+Ceska+kak Akbar)
